Gaining more than you lose

Zion National Park. Here I was in one of the most beautiful places in the world, yet I found myself all alone, slowly slogging up a steep climb with absolutely no energy in the tank, struggling to enjoy the beauty around me...I felt like I was 45 miles into a run when, in fact, I was just over 6 miles in...what was going on?

OK, I pretty much knew. Rewind a couple of days and I'm sitting in my bosses office and trying to care about what he is saying. I hadn't been feeling well all day - the only running that I'd been able to do was to the bathroom. As he tells me to go hook up my newly configured phone the very thought of standing makes me nauseous. I start to sweat and am feeling light headed. I put my head in my hands and tell my boss that I just haven't been feeling good. I hear him offer a garbage can to me and then....I'm asleep and dreaming. I hear my name being called and I open my eyes to find myself looking up at my boss from the floor. I spit a bit of tooth out of my mouth. I'd passed out and smashed my face on the carpet covered pillowy soft concrete floor. Well that's never happened before. 
I took the next day off work and tried to rest up and try to beat this bug, but by Thursday as I headed into work (all packed for Zion) I still hadn't made any real headway. I IM'd with Jun throughout the day, with the idea of being able to run the traverse slowly seeming to slip away. Every run I had done this year was in preparation for this trip, and now I was being hobbled by this stupid flu. I had fleeting thoughts of just not even going, but the pull of Zion wouldn't let that happen. 
Thursday evening I found myself headed in the van with the boys headed to Zion! I was actually starting to feel much better and had hopes of maybe being able to run. I popped Pepto as we ate Pizza on the trip down. We stayed at a dive in Cedar, I slept pretty well on the floor, while the 4 others were snuggled together between 2 queen beds. 
5am came quickly, and Jun shot out of bed and turned the lights on. I was excited to get going and we quickly dressed and hit the road. We got to Lees Pass around 6am and were off and running at 6:10. As we started I was feeling great. My legs felt fresh and we had a great start down the hills. It didn't take long though - at about mile 2 we hit a VERY mild climb and as I began to run it, I realized I had NO energy. My legs weren't tired, they weren't burning, there was just no fuel in the tank. The several days of dehydration and malnourishment had taken it's toll, and I could feel it's drain. I immediately knew that there was no way I was going to be able to complete the traverse. I backed off the gas a little and slowly watched Jun and Josh disappear ahead of me. 
At mile 4 I actually started to feel pretty good, my step came a little quicker and I was moving well I had a brief string of thoughts that said if I can catch up just running what feels good, then I'll keep going. 
At mile 5 that thought was once again deflated as I hit a patch of sand that took me to a near standstill. I plodded along, always looking for the distinctive Lone Peak track in the dirt - I have become quite accustomed to following tracks. At around mile 6 you take a nice hop over the river and then I came shortly to the turn off that takes you up and over into Hop Valley. This climb was brutal - it was definitely the low point for me. I struggled to climb, my legs felt strong but just no energy to back them - it was the weirdest feeling. I began to feel really weak and my stomach started to turn on me (as it had been for the last 4 days). I literally had to leap of the trail just in time for some relief. I continued my way up, thinking about how stupid I was to think that I could do this after the week I had had. I started doing split calculations as to how long it would take me to just walk this in - at that point I thought thats what it would come down to. 6 miles to go - 6 miles had never seemed so far. 
As I crested the hill I came across some hikers and so (of course) I forced myself into a little trot. We exchanged some words as I ran by and they mentioned that they had seen my friend come by about a half hour earlier (I did notice the singularity of FRIEND at the time, but didn't really think much of it). 
As you drop down into Hop Valley you are greeted by a huge bank of desert sand and a shallow, wide slow moving river and are surrounded by towering cliffs. It was a beautiful site as the sun was starting to touch the tops of the cliffs, and I was invigorated by the surroundings. The river crossings, and sand, would be a very common occurrence over the next several miles, and it wasn't long before I was cursing the energy sucking sand. I continued to plod my way along, and then came to a gigantic climb, that I had no recollection of seeing or reading about. I had thought it was just a nice downhill all the way to the trailhead, but here was at least a 1500 foot climb.  I just stuck it into a low gear (I think all of my gears were low though) and hiked my way up. I literally felt like my muscle strength was the only thing keeping me moving. I passed a few hikers in this area and finally got to some relatively flat (though sandy) ground. Once I hit mile 13 (which is as far as I thought the leg was) I just started walking again. I was drained, I was an idiot, no reason killing myself so that I can get there 2 minutes sooner. I was frustrated that I would have to call it quits here, but even more frustrated that I may be causing our ultimate goal - Juns double crossing - to be put into jeopardy, or slowed down. 
When I could see the trailhead I was happy for two reasons - that I was done, and that I could see a bathroom! In my condition that was a welcoming sight. I appeared from the trail and could see Scott standing there waiting alone. I told him how stupid that was for me to think I could do it, and after I had vented for a minute he said "So, where's Josh". Ha ha, really funny. I know I was slow. "No seriously, he hasn't come in yet, where is he?" Ah crap. I assumed that Josh and MattVH had just continued on without me. How is it that Josh isn't here yet, he was in front of me? We figured that he must have missed the hard right turn that takes you into Hop Valley. 
We spent the next couple hours talking to hikers, rangers and even wrangled a couple of horsewomen that were heading out into keeping an eye out for him. They took our cell number and some extra water in case they ran into him. 
We then got to a point where we were going to need to leave in order to meet Jun and MattVh in time at the Grotto. So we decided that Scott would run backwards on the course towards Lees pass and I would drive and crew Jun, then come back and pick these guys up, either back here or at Lees, depending on where they turned up. Scott hands me his phone to take his picture before he heads out and as I'm lining up the shot the phone starts to ring. I hand the phone to Scott and he answers. I can hear the lady on the other end "We found your friend, we gave him some water, he's about a mile outand heading your way." YES!! We were ecstatic. Scott decided to head out and go meet him and shortly Josh was finally back with us. Not only had he missed the turn, but had spent the next several hours running up and down the canyon trying to get back on course and had run at least 26 miles!

We got them back on the road and then made our way through the park and over to the east entrance. When we pulled up to the trailhead, there was a big thick strand of bright orange tape stretched across the trail....uhhhhh. I walked over to read it "Trail closed for a prescribed burn". Ummm. What are we going to do? We kind of figured that we would just ignore it, since we weren't going to be on that section very long anyway, and the people at the site said the ranger had just put it up.  Luckily though, a few minutes later a ranger came by and took the sign down "too dry for the burn". Thank you! While it likely wouldn't have foiled our plans, the mental battle of deciding whether to continue on with an option to stop would have been rough for Jun, I'm sure.
We made ourselves some sandwiches and then a short time later we see MattVH coming down the trail, followed a bit later by Jun. VH was done, and the heat had certainly taken it's toll on Craig. The climb out of the canyon had been rough. Once again, we got him refueled, changed his shirt and shoes and got him cooled down. Scott was going to be picking up the pacing duties now, and I kicked myself for not just waiting to try running this leg - although in all reality it probably wouldn't have made much difference - my body needed more time to recover. 
Once they were off we drove back to Canyon Junction, and knew we had a couple of hours to burn so Josh and I just decided to hang out at the van until it was closer to when we needed to be back up at the Grotto. MattVH, after having just run 30 something miles, decided he'd go and tag Angels landing, a 5.5 mile hike with a massive climb. Killer. 
Josh and I got all their night gear, food and supplies packed into a bag and made our way to the bus stop which would take us up to the Grotto. As we stood their waiting we looked at the bus schedule. "Last bus leaves at 8:30". It was past 8 right now, theres not going to be a bus to bring us back! We thought that since that was the case that you could drive up the canyon after bus hours. So we walked back to the van and decided to drive up. As I'm waiting to make a left turn up the canyon, who is coming towards us and turns right up the canyon in front of us? Mr. Park Ranger. He drives on up ahead and then flips around and comes back down. As he passes us he quickly flips back around. Oh man. He follows us for a little bit and I say to Josh - "Can he pull us over? I don't see any lights", two seconds later his grill is lit up with flashing blue and red LEDs. "Where you guys headed?" I explain we're trying to get up to crew someone coming through. He pretty much loses it "Are you telling me you didn't see ANY of the 11 signs you passed that said you must had a red permit, OR the gigantic lighted sign that said Do not go past this point without a permit" (It was a huge sign :)) I just tried to play it cool and let him know that we had read the sign and thought that you could drive up here after the buses were running. He actually calmed down quite a bit - luckily he had seen us walking along to the bus stop carrying all our stuff. He told us the buses run until like 10, so we should be fine (turns out we had misread the sign - DOH!). We explained we certainly weren't there to cause any trouble, just want to make sure our guys have what they need. He ended up being pretty cool, asking about what we were doing and how far we'd run. We flipped around and I dropped Josh off at the stop while I went and parked the van.
Seemed like forever for another bus to come, and now we were worried that our little fiasco had made us late. It had. We pulled up to the Grotto just as it was getting dark, with Craig and Scott patiently waiting. We tried to get them dressed, fed and out of there pretty quickly, and Craig was in very good spirits. They took off and ran into VH just as he was crossing the bridge coming down from Angels landing. 
Back to the bus where a couple of Russians were chatting it up behind us, thinking that we wouldn't know what they were saying (I did :)) they wanted to get off at the same stop as us, even though it wasn't theirs, but they decided not to. I wasn't thinking quick enough, but wished I would have said something to them in Russian as the doors were closing, just to see the looks on their faces. Now back in the van, VH was starting to feel the raging hunger that running an ultra will give you, so we headed down to Hurricane where we chowed down on a little Taco Bell. Up to this point VH had said he was done, but now he started talking about wanting to finish that last section so that he'd get the full traverse in. 
We got to the Hop Valley trailhead, seemed like we had just been there, but seemed so long ago too. Now it was dark and quiet, and we were the only ones around. The midnight stars were bright and the night was cool. For some reason we had thought that they had a 1am arrival time, but realized that our calculations were off, and figured that it would be closer to 1:30. VH thought that he would be traveling much slower than Craig and Scott, and wanted to get a head start on the trail, so he left at about 1:30. It had been a mostly sleepless night for Josh and I as well, as we drifted in and out of sleep wondering when they'd show up. We were very happy to see them roll in. As it turned out, the boys didn't show up until about 4:30. It had been a rough night for them, with rocky trails and turning tummies. Craig wanted to lay down for a minute, so we got them both in the van while we cranked the heat and got them something hot to drink. We went about re-packing, replacing spent batteries and filling their packs while they took a brief rest. We had them back on their feet in relative short order, and they were back on their way - last stretch to the end!!
Josh and I made our way back to Lees pass - an 8 mile journey as the crow flies, but nearly 40 by car. The sun was starting to rise as we hit the freeway any headed north. We got to Lees pass just after 6am, where we had started almost exactly 24 hours before. We thought we would find VH huddling under a rock somewhere, as it had now been more than 5 hours since he left for the 13 mile journey, but he was nowhere to be seen. Seemed to go right along with the theme of the trip. We were able to nap a bit longer, then we spent some time cleaning out and organizing the van (it was a mess!). We decided them to drive up to the end of the road, and look out over the trail from the top. It was a beautiful morning, but from the lookout point, you couldn't quite see the trail. As we headed back down the road I stopped at another turn off that would give us a view down in the canyon. As we got out and looked we could see a short ribbon of trail far below. "Theres someone on it" Josh said. I pulled up the binoculars just in time to see Scott moving along, all alone on the trail. There was only about a 20 foot section that was visible, I was amazed we saw him - he was only a mile or two from the finish, and he was running. I knew that if Scott was running alone, it was because Craig must have dropped him - as any good pacer, I knew there was no way he would run off ahead of Craig. That meant we needed to get back to the finish soon! 
We rushed down there and it wasn't 2 minutes later that we saw Craig crest the top of the hill a quarter mile from the finish. He was moving really well and looked as fresh as a spring morning. The trail finishes with a steep little climb and this dude just powered up it at practically a sprint as we cheered him on. He touched the sign, signifying the finish of his journey and then he fell to the ground. High fives and hugs all around as we walked with him back to the car. I was surprised how happy he was and he still had a spring to his step. He quickly got out of his sand filled shoes and into something more comfortable, and then we went back to wait for Scott (Craig even jogged a little - punk!). Not too long later, here comes Scott, again, running the hill to the finish as he completed his traverse. Yes, they had run into VH in the middle of the night and here he came shortly thereafter. 
We were now all back together with this journey (almost) completed. For the rest of the boys, it was now time to sack out in the van for a well deserved rest. Me, I had to get us back home safe! Scott was asleep in his usual post run slumber within minutes, and after a BK stop in Cedar, all were asleep. Josh stayed up like a champ to make sure that I had someone awake with me, which was very helpful - it's never fun to be driving tired when everyone else is asleep!!
As I look back on the weekend, it was both incredibly disappointing and yet was one of the most fun, inspiring adventures I've been able to be a part of. Ever since the original Zion Trainwreck of 2011 nearly every run I have been on has been done with the purpose of preparing myself to come back and complete the trail in Zion. Amazing how the timing of a virus can cause all of that to change.
Even among sickness and a measly 13 miles, it was still spent in the company of good friends in one of the most beautiful places on the planet - so really - isn't that what it's all about anyway?

While I wouldn't trade the weekend away - I will be back!